Have you ever read a book where the couple are arguing and they end up making out afterwards. I hate those scenes. But I wasn't sure why. Well, it clicked the other day why I don't like those scenes and here is my reasons why.
1. Anger is not Passion.
It is almost like the authors think women have an on/off switch for women and emotions. That we normally don't feel anything at all until we are either angry or passionate. This simplistic angle on emotions is dangerous and right silly.
2. Emotions are complicated.
It is almost like the women in these scenes only have two emotions, love and anger. Emotions don't work like that. Even love has several flavours and levels. To assume that anger is only like a fire that can be put out by the water of love is ridiculous. You can love someone and still hate them at the same time. Yes, emotions are crazy like that.
3. Where is the resolution?
The worst part of these scenes is that the making out part never follows a clear resolution. Instead of being romantic this makes me think the men have marginalized her issues and has not actually dealt with what made her angry in the first place. Marginalizing women is not something romance should be advocating.
4. Not a healthy view on conflict resolution.
Men ignoring women's emotions to seduce them is kinda rapey. We should be avoiding these situations instead of putting a rosy tint over the whole situation. In my latest novel I have the couple arguing. They literally spend half the novel in an argument. They sulk, they argue, they avoid each other and then eventually when their emotions are calmer they talk it out and come to a resolution. This is how normal people argue. Going from throwing things at people's heads to being in each other's beds is not the right way to sort through your problems.
5. Arguing should never ever, ever be foreplay.
If this is your relationship I truly deeply pity you. Arguing is not healthy, bad for your heart and your health. It should be avoided. If it is needed to turn you on then maybe a therapist is the way to go.
I know that romance is more like a concentrated version of real life. After all love at first sight is the exception to the rule rather than the norm. But by taking out the healthy parts of an argument to get straight to the sex is detrimental and should be avoided by all authors.